I never said it out loud.
That if I could,
I would bear it all for you.
In this lifetime or the hereafter,
I would give up everything for you.
Because we’ve been tied by blood,
Or do they call it fate?
But there’s something sickening about you,
That I can’t help but hate.
The sickness that lives in me too,
Was that also written in fate?
I’ve watched you over the years,
With the choices you would come to make.
And then the people around,
Who would only take.
Perhaps in some ways, you might have even had to break.
But break, my dear, break but don’t forget,
You haven’t seen the best of it yet.
And they will eventually, have to pay their debts.
I once tried to fold 1000 paper cranes for you
But the cranes remained,
As you eventually left.
So when I found the cranes
Almost a decade later,
I bursted into tears
And wondered if somewhere –
Somewhere beyond us all,
You will suddenly remember me now and again too,
Just like so?
I can’t turn back time to that morning,
As I looked down into my cup.
I can’t turn back to that moment
As I watched your leaving back
And how I wanted to call you back.
But if I had the chance,
I would have done the same
Because such is the fate,
When gone was the flame.
I’m not sure why suddenly
I’m remembering all the promises you made,
And then broke.
How many years did I torment myself
Thinking it was because I wasn’t enough for you.
Nothing was ever enough for you.
Because even you,
Wasn’t enough for you.
I finally cut the cords between you and I today,
My dear old friend.
And as the cords began to dissolve,
I couldn’t help but hesitate.
But really, there’s no one we need to be anymore
And there’s nothing we need to have.
Surrendering what we have,
To start on our new separate paths.
I went through old photos
And the friends and love that I have gained,
And then lost.
I used to hide these,
Because they reminded me of what I no longer have.
But suddenly I had an urge to hang them on the wall,
Because I don’t think I’ve ever really lost,
When they carry so much love
And the light that I can only feel,
From looking back at this moment.
So that I can finally heal.
I’m not made to stay.
Whether it is in a place,
Or in myself.
If you want to leave
Then you can leave.
Why would I feed your ego
When you can easily be replaced?