I never said it out loud.
That if I could,
I would bear it all for you.
In this lifetime or the hereafter,
I would give up everything for you.
Because we’ve been tied by blood,
Or do they call it fate?
But there’s something sickening about you,
That I can’t help but hate.
The sickness that lives in me too,
Was that also written in fate?
I’ve watched you over the years,
With the choices you would come to make.
And then the people around,
Who would only take.
Perhaps in some ways, you might have even had to break.
But break, my dear, break but don’t forget,
You haven’t seen the best of it yet.
And they will eventually, have to pay their debts.
I can’t turn back time to that morning,
As I looked down into my cup.
I can’t turn back to that moment
As I watched your leaving back
And how I wanted to call you back.
But if I had the chance,
I would have done the same
Because such is the fate,
When gone was the flame.
I’m not sure why suddenly
I’m remembering all the promises you made,
And then broke.
How many years did I torment myself
Thinking it was because I wasn’t enough for you.
Nothing was ever enough for you.
Because even you,
Wasn’t enough for you.
I finally cut the cords between you and I today,
My dear old friend.
And as the cords began to dissolve,
I couldn’t help but hesitate.
But really, there’s no one we need to be anymore
And there’s nothing we need to have.
Surrendering what we have,
To start on our new separate paths.
I can’t help but imagine,
What it would be like
To see you again.
When touching you,
Feels like so long ago.
I’ll never understand, why you treated me so kindly.
Someone like me, why you held me so tenderly.
When I had only hurt you, I could never understand
Even till the end, why you were still so gentle.
So for the past year I’ve been breaking like this,
I’ve been dreaming, wishing and hoping like this.
And now I realise, you finally have me completely,
Just like this.
The sun seeps through the curtains,
They move and slither under the wind
My foot will peek out from the blanket,
The ray will touch my toes.
I will turn to face you,
And my heart will grow.
And though so much time has passed,
I can’t help but want to ask
If I had said yes then,
How different would we be now?
And now we are,
Two very different people
From who we once were.
Hearts that have changed,
Have you grown like I have?
I wish I could have seen it.