Trying to find where I belong
In this big, big world
When I feel so terribly small
Is like trying to catch a star
In the vast sky.
But if we’re all made from stars
The core of our existence
Then why is to so hard to belong?
So I think,
To hell with this all.
It doesn’t make sense that after all of this time
Trying to make others like me
I ended up
Not liking myself.
I’m sitting on a train and I can hear people laugh.
It’s bright outside, but inside I’m dark.
So I think, how can they laugh?
When everything is falling apart
But is it because only my world has fallen,
Or is it because we have to laugh
Since everything has fallen apart
I’ll never understand, why you treated me so kindly.
Someone like me, why you held me so tenderly.
When I had only hurt you, I could never understand
Even till the end, why you were still so gentle.
So for the past year I’ve been breaking like this,
I’ve been dreaming, wishing and hoping like this.
And now I realise, you finally have me completely,
Just like this.
We build a layer over ourselves
For each and every person we see.
And cover ourselves, so that they can never see.
But when we return, home alone,
And peel it off, layer by layer,
Why is it that I can no longer find
Who it is I used to be
I think I’m broken in a way that’s unfixable.
There’s something off about me,
As if I were a weed, hiding amongst the flowers
Or a human, pretending to swim with the fish.
Is there a place for me in this world?
That must be why
I keep wanting to live in my mind.
And though so much time has passed,
I can’t help but want to ask
If I had said yes then,
How different would we be now?
And now we are,
Two very different people
From who we once were.
Hearts that have changed,
Have you grown like I have?
I wish I could have seen it.
I’m dreaming of a butterfly,
And all it desires is freedom,
Carved deep in its soul.
So why should we lock them in a cage,
And think we need to fix their broken wings?
I’m seeking closure.
Not for the sake of anyone,
But my own heart.
I’m seeking closure to heal –
The hate that I feel towards myself
And the love that I used to seek from others
I should have sought it in myself