I feel melancholy today
Like the pounding of my heart when I notice you in a crowd
To find out it was someone else
Or how I used to be able to listen to that song
And now it just reminds me of pain and loss
Healing is never linear
Sometimes it tastes of sourness,
Just like vinegar.
Like a thorn,
Piercing my fingers.
I hate this feeling
But I like to feel
I don’t want you
But I want you.
So let me go,
Because I can’t let you go.
Don’t look at me like that
As if you’re amusing a child.
You hold my face with those cold fingertips
When I’ve carved out my heart so neatly
And laid it bare, in your palms so naively.
Why did I ever entertain that thought?
I want to be home
Home in your arms.
Their faces are kind,
But their hearts are too cruel
I can’t trust anyone but you.
So I’m only staying here, waiting for you.
If it’s not self punishment
Then why am I doing the same thing
Over and over and over again?
Standing in the same corner
Watching the same rain
Heart in pain.
Twisted, convoluted and broken
We come to each other in pieces
Wanting to make a whole.
But all we ever do
Is sink into a dark hole
And wonder why we can’t fix each other like so.
I find myself in these moments
Begging for just a little more.
It’s nothing but love
What use is pride?
I wonder if somewhere in this world
You’re in bed just as I am
Curled under the covers
With your hand between your thighs
Whispering my name
As your toes curl.
Maybe we were destined for failure
I’ve never been fond of trying again and again
Because you make it so hard
Whether in life or in love
As if you’re afraid to lose all the above