In her eyes I saw the stars.
And it shone so brightly,
Reflecting my own scars.
Like moth to the flame,
People wanted to take
And not reciprocate the same.
But light can only exist in the dark
And she is the brightest star.
They can’t accept that she is both,
Just as they all are.
Sometimes I feel so ashamed,
Trying to earn a place in a world,
That abandons me at every turn.
Faces that make my stomach churn,
Kindness that cuts deeper than a knife,
I wish I had never chosen this kind of life.
Rest, my beloved.
The night is long but it is also short
We do not doubt the sun will rise
So take a rest, my love.
And surely tomorrow, the sun will also rise.
I feel melancholy today
Like the pounding of my heart when I notice you in a crowd
To find out it was someone else
Or how I used to be able to listen to that song
And now it just reminds me of pain and loss
Healing is never linear
Sometimes it tastes of sourness,
Just like vinegar.
Like a thorn,
Piercing my fingers.
I hate this feeling
But I like to feel
I don’t want you
But I want you.
So let me go,
Because I can’t let you go.
I’ll always remember the TV in that room
Gently buzzing, white noises in the background.
Because even with you in that room,
I still felt so lonely.
I don’t remember what was said
Or why they were laughing in that show
But the sound of their laughter,
Was the only thing that comforted my throes.
Drifting like tumbleweed,
Struggling at the wind’s mercy.
Dying to live,
And living to die.
But I’m just
Sometimes I imagine meeting again
Even though so much time has passed.
But I don’t want you to see me
Because I don’t think you’ll understand
Why I can’t feign youth and naivety
Or the vitality that’s been stolen from my hand.
Heart that’s been jaded,
Cautiously reaching out a hand.
Maybe I’ll never understand
Why this happened
or that happened.
We’ll spend lifetimes searching for answers
That sometimes are just meant to be felt
And never to be found.