I’ve never been good at remembering the past.
Why would I remember the things that didn’t last?
But for all that I have lost,
I somehow have also gained.
The lessons that I have learnt,
Were all learnt through pain.
Past
Category: Friendship
Choice
I once thought it was kindness,
Not too choose,
Or to speak.
But perhaps it was the cruellest thing
I could have ever done.
Because not choosing,
Was a choice in itself.
Shedding
I’m no different on the inside.
I’ve just been shedding my outer skin,
And the hypocrisy and contradictory
Love, that used to lie within.
I love that look on your face,
Because you can’t stand that I now have boundaries in place.
And so you can’t push me around,
As you used to so easily now.
How does it feel to get a taste of your own medicine now?
Paper cranes
I once tried to fold 1000 paper cranes for you
But the cranes remained,
As you eventually left.
So when I found the cranes
Almost a decade later,
I bursted into tears
And wondered if somewhere –
Somewhere beyond us all,
You will suddenly remember me now and again too,
Just like so?
To that morning
I can’t turn back time to that morning,
As I looked down into my cup.
I can’t turn back to that moment
As I watched your leaving back
And how I wanted to call you back.
But if I had the chance,
I would have done the same
Because such is the fate,
When gone was the flame.
Cords
I finally cut the cords between you and I today,
My dear old friend.
And as the cords began to dissolve,
I couldn’t help but hesitate.
But really, there’s no one we need to be anymore
And there’s nothing we need to have.
Surrendering what we have,
To start on our new separate paths.
Broken
I’m broken, and I’m tired.
Have they always come hand in hand?
I can’t muster the strength to smile
Or laugh,
When everything is broken inside.
I think I’m purging, purging and purging.
So don’t make me pretend with you,
Just to make you feel something inside.
Photos
I went through old photos
And the friends and love that I have gained,
And then lost.
I used to hide these,
Because they reminded me of what I no longer have.
But suddenly I had an urge to hang them on the wall,
Because I don’t think I’ve ever really lost,
When they carry so much love
And the light that I can only feel,
From looking back at this moment.
So that I can finally heal.
Painted skin
I’ve stopped fearing change.
And the people that I love
Who will come to dislike these changes.
Because though birds may flock together,
My feathers have never been the same.
There’s no one to blame,
When I’m the one wearing this painted skin.
So don’t be afraid if your wings,
Slowly, slowly,
Turn into fins.
Knowing
There’s something about knowing.
How hearing a stranger’s laugh,
Can feel nostalgically familiar,
Like an old friend you once knew.
Or the way they drink their coffee
Becomes oddly endearing
As if you have done this
Many, many times before.
Can you know without knowing?
Maybe, or maybe not.
But I can feel.
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