I’ve never been good at remembering the past.
Why would I remember the things that didn’t last?
But for all that I have lost,
I somehow have also gained.
The lessons that I have learnt,
Were all learnt through pain.
I’m no different on the inside.
I’ve just been shedding my outer skin,
And the hypocrisy and contradictory
Love, that used to lie within.
I love that look on your face,
Because you can’t stand that I now have boundaries in place.
And so you can’t push me around,
As you used to so easily now.
How does it feel to get a taste of your own medicine now?
I went through old photos
And the friends and love that I have gained,
And then lost.
I used to hide these,
Because they reminded me of what I no longer have.
But suddenly I had an urge to hang them on the wall,
Because I don’t think I’ve ever really lost,
When they carry so much love
And the light that I can only feel,
From looking back at this moment.
So that I can finally heal.
I’ve stopped fearing change.
And the people that I love
Who will come to dislike these changes.
Because though birds may flock together,
My feathers have never been the same.
There’s no one to blame,
When I’m the one wearing this painted skin.
So don’t be afraid if your wings,
Turn into fins.
There’s something about knowing.
How hearing a stranger’s laugh,
Can feel nostalgically familiar,
Like an old friend you once knew.
Or the way they drink their coffee
Becomes oddly endearing
As if you have done this
Many, many times before.
Can you know without knowing?
Maybe, or maybe not.
But I can feel.