I feel melancholy today
Like the pounding of my heart when I notice you in a crowd
To find out it was someone else
Or how I used to be able to listen to that song
And now it just reminds me of pain and loss
Healing is never linear
Sometimes it tastes of sourness,
Just like vinegar.
Twisted, convoluted and broken
We come to each other in pieces
Wanting to make a whole.
But all we ever do
Is sink into a dark hole
And wonder why we can’t fix each other, like so.
The scent of you lingers on my clothes
After lying under the blanket
The smell of you
Reminds me of the smell of home
Even though I used to find it cumbersome
I guess we’re all looking for a home
So in this lifetime we forever roam.
Pain is dreaming of you
Over and over and over again.
I’m trying to wash off this stain
But it bleeds in vain.
Don’t appear in vain
I don’t want to see you ever again.
It’s a painful reminder of what I have lost
Or was it the betrayal?
I bet you’re sick with glee
And though I can’t bear to physically hurt
The darkness in me would rather see you drowning in dirt
But I guess I’ll leave it to God to do his work.
Let’s wrap this up
And call it a day.
I’ve cried enough
And I’ve done more than enough
So please, let’s just call it a day.
I didn’t do it to hurt
But that I couldn’t cure my own hurt.
It’s not out of lack
But rather my own lacking.
How egoistical must you be
To make it about you?
I hate lying
But I hate it even more
When you give me no choice
But to lie.
I’m lying to keep your truth
Whilst denying my own truth.
I let you dim my light,
So why are you still not satisfied?
You can’t live without comparing
The different hands that were dealt in life.
And let it hang over you, like a knife.
Why overly attach to materials in life
When you can’t carry it to the afterlife?
So don’t project your fears onto me
Or there will be strife.
I once waited for an apology
But now I don’t need your sorry.
I can’t even return to the naive me
To pretend to believe your sob story.
Why don’t you save your acting,
For someone who still worries?