I hate lying
But I hate it even more
When you give me no choice
But to lie.
I’m lying to keep your truth
Whilst denying my own truth.
I let you dim my light,
So why are you still not satisfied?
You can’t live without comparing
The different hands that were dealt in life.
And let it hang over you, like a knife.
Why overly attach to materials in life
When you can’t carry it to the afterlife?
So don’t project your fears onto me
Or there will be strife.
I once waited for an apology
But now I don’t need your sorry.
I can’t even return to the naive me
To pretend to believe your sob story.
Why don’t you save your acting,
For someone who still worries?
I can’t wait to see you, my friend
Because I know we will laugh ourselves into tears,
Or suddenly talk about our fears.
I didn’t think I would find a soul so familiar,
Or someone so similar.
I’m so thankful for you,
And I can’t wait to see you again.
I used to think that trust
Was a word that only those who have never broken,
Could easily say.
For they have never had to pay the price for it,
In that kind of way.
I’ve never been good at remembering the past.
I mean, why would I remember the things that didn’t last?
And I’ve tormented and been tormented,
Been played and have played,
Just for you to say words that cut me like a blade.
But for all that I have lost,
I somehow have also gained.
The lessons that I have learnt,
Were all learnt through pain.
I once thought it was kindness,
Not too choose –
Or not to speak.
But perhaps it was the cruellest thing,
I could have ever done.
Because not choosing,
Was a choice in itself.
I’m no different on the inside.
I’ve just been shedding my outer skin,
And the hypocrisy and contradictory
Love, that used to lie within.
I love that look on your face,
Because you can’t stand that I now have boundaries in place.
And so you can’t push me around,
As you used to so easily now.
How does it feel to get a taste of your own medicine now?
I once tried to fold 1000 paper cranes for you
But the cranes remained,
As you eventually left.
So when I found the cranes
Almost a decade later,
I bursted into tears
And wondered if somewhere –
Somewhere beyond us all,
You will suddenly remember me now and again too,
Just like so?
I can’t turn back time to that morning,
As I looked down into my cup.
I can’t turn back to that moment
As I watched your leaving back
And how I wanted to call you back.
But if I had the chance,
I would have done the same
Because such is the fate,
When gone was the flame.